Dear Mr. Vinegar,


Whilst we are not averse to entering into correspondence with the public on a wide variety of bird-related topics, I regret to inform you that you have written to the wrong organisation.  Your letter was addressed to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Birds; this is the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds.  I can only assume that you have gotten the two (unaffiliated) organisations confused.


It is a common misconception that the RSPB are a bird-watching or welfare society –we are not- the main aim of the RSPB is to protect birds’ natural environments and allow them to live freely, improving the world for everyone.


Yours &c.




I am particularly impressed with the RSPB representative’s sense of humour, and the ease with which he adopted and parodied my prose style.  Well done, Royal Society for the Protection of Birds.